Apprentice Asshole

There's one at every bar or club. The total asshole that walks about like a God among men. He pours Veuve Clicqouet down girls throats and showers them with cash. He thinks all the love and the attention he gets is the fact he is wearing a purple velvet jacket, baby blue striped pants, checkered shirt, and loafers minus the socks. I believe the only reason girls flock to this type of man is in hope that all the champagne will lower their expectations and will land them pregnant living off his platinum card child support the rest of their lives.

"Hey sweetheart. You're gorgeouuss!"

He leans in pinches my nose and litters my forehead with a kiss.

"Don't fucking touch me!"

"You don't know who I am do you?"

"Ummmm NO! I don't."

"I'm Raj"


"ok."

"I was on the television show 'The Apprentice'

"great."

I rolled my eyes and looked away. Meanwhile Marina was slurping down more champagne and chatting it up with his french friend.

"Baby why don't we go back to my hotel?"

"No Mr. TV show. I don't care for you bad sense of style, your pushy moves, or your body odor. Please leave me alone."

"You're truly missing out sweetie."

He crossed his arms and put on a frown like a 3-year-old.

I grabbed Marina and we walked out onto the street. Cabs whizzing by and people whirling about. Two cops leaned out their window and let out a whistle. A man was sitting on the corner with single rose buds in his hand.

"A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady?"

I'm a sucker for sweetness. I handed him a 20 and skipped down chestnut street laughing and giggling with a very drunk married girl on my arm.

Going away for a few days. Spending time with my family. I should be back Monday. Maybe. If I don't scratch my eyes out first.