Phriendless in Philly.

I weigh 112 lbs. now. I lied. I'm actually 113, but 112 just sounds so much better. Nothing fits right. All my jeans are a bit too baggy. I think I am going to have to wear size 2's now. I went out for dinner last night and I had to grip my jeans up with my perfectly manicured fingers that happen to match perfectly pedicured toes. I like being this thin. My bones poke out in the right places and I am still left with just enough perfect curves for men to still drool over. Thankfully I dropped the weight just in time for the MAC show next week. I am pretty excited.


I don't know where that was supposed to lead to. I guess I just like to brag about how I'm a model, and I'm perfect and thin and gorgeous.

3 a.m. naked. I shivered and pulled the blankets up around me. I reached out for him, but no one was there. It seems to be a repeating pattern in my life. Reaching out for someone and having no one there to reciprocate your embrace.

I like being alone sometimes, but I have never felt this alone.

Most lonely people have websites like e-harmony to venture off to in hopes of ending their sad lifestyle. There are also fabulous events like speed dating, blind dating, date auctions, drive thru weddings, but do any of these events cater to girls just looking for a friend? No. No drive thru friendships.

How I ache for a gaggle of giggly girlfriends to paint my nails with and cry over pints of Ben N' Jerry's together. Ok, actually I just want a bunch of girls to get drunk and dance on the bar with me. I do look rather dumb doing it by myself. Not that I ever have...

Perhaps I could put an ad in citypaper. "Phriendless in Philly", or something clever and catchy like that. "Female seeking other Female companion 21+ Must like metal, fashion, drinking, and dancing." This is really pathetic. Maybe I could convince Shawnte and Emma to come out from frigid old Colorado and live with me. Or better yet teach Bruiser to talk.

I mean I thought living in Philadelphia was going to be perfect and wonderful and I would have sex in the city and friends and drinks and Manolo's. I could ask the girls at work to hang out, but they have their own lives and agendas outside of the club. I can only force Billy be my partner to work out and tan and pedicure so much. He is a man with a real job and he has his own life to worry about. Not my dramatic episodes over buying the silver Manolo's or the black ones.

Well, I'll stop now. I needed to vent. Time for class.

X moi