Damaged
I'm good at diguising who I am.
But who am I anymore? Dixie, Daisy, Rachel, Ash? The names and the stories are beginning to blur before my eyes. I'm lost in the transit of Philadelphia life. Like a kid in a carnival fun house desperately trying to find a way out. Carousels spinning round and round, bright shining lights, the laughter of the crowd - except no one is there with cotton candy to soften the fall.
What is real? The tears? Me with him? Me alone? Dancing? Writing? Denver? School? I'm tired of trying to answer this riddle of life to please everyone else. To tip toe around the taboos I was so excellent at portraying. I wrote about the cold hard parts of life people like to deny. I wanted to experience something that was real - Or at least seemed it. But in the end it is all a fairy tale. Someone else's. Never mine. But I have lived and I have learned about the hardships - no matter how gruesome they are.
But I leave now with my artificial nails, mystic tan, and long blonde acrylic hair, wrapped up and packaged neatly like the little Barbie in the box. But what happens to the Barbie's that are damaged before they reach the shelf?
I'm damaged so how should I know?
posted by Dixie at 3:53 PM
5 Comments:
I have to admit to being considerably intruiged by your blog. I make a point of reading a number of blogs, however yours contain a far darker, far more eloquent, and far more interesting outlook than most. Most enjoyable. :)
why thank you darling! I do appreciate when people who read this blog leave me a comment or two every now and then.
yours.
Your very welcome. It is always nice to see comments from time to time from people who read your blog. It reminds you that people do in fact read it :)
Actually, come to think of it, I would usually attempt to offer some kind of advice or response on the topic of the post itself, but I do not presume to know you at all, and so feel that would be somewhat out of place.
Plus, I might just be trying to make myself sound substantially more profound and clever than I actually am.
Ah well, we try.
I am so glad that I have comments to reassure me that my stat counters aren't lying to me.
criticism and advice are always welcome here (as long as you don't denigrate).
I have often been known to let perfect strangers tell me how to live my life....so thats certainly nothing new.
cheers.
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